无所不缺，有缺

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到处都是0.
太闲空绝非好事。
就像现在一样，无所事事。
单单面对这平面图都觉得日子好难过，干脆去死。。
没啦。。。
厌倦这几天没头尾地过活。。。
怀念那有目标的日子。。。
该死的怪理念。。。
空洞的日子比地狱来的难熬，虽然没见过地狱。
什么都有但什么都没有的感觉，好讽刺。
缺少了什么，心知肚明。
笔记不下来。
只知道心里有空洞。。
太无聊了！

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

吃一堑，长一智

懊恼，在于不明白他人的想法
感伤，只因我选择离开了他
悲伤，是因为还爱着他
后悔，全都怪与他

我很傻，但也不傻
人，总不能事事顺利
人，总不能一切顺心
人，总不能打败光阴
人，始终得面对事实

那燃烧的火焰
那炽热的心情
那不灭的纯情
那高涨的情绪

我懊恼的，感伤的，悲伤的，后悔的。。。

最终，还是得抛弃他。。。

决心，信心，一切澎湃的心理。。。

搜藏起来！搜藏起来！
打败他，超越他，胜于他！
藏好他，收好他，管好他！
珍惜他，想好他，应用他！

我转，我绕，我跳！
我决定了！
我得好好利用它！
那时光所累积起来的经验。。。

心，始终有点小创伤。
没办法，
事事非愿，
再见了，我的爱。。。

More crazy!

yeah...
the fact is, i get addicted to Sdo-x at tis time---SPM is coming real soon...
tis is indeed the most stupid thing a person would choose to undergo at these time...
damn it la, why pop out this year but not last year...
last year cant even play...
haiye...
and then that thingy made me spent RM70...
sob, RM70 e...
i can do so many things with it...
but that's only a small case..
in fact, i wasted my time on such thing...
play sdo 5 hours, study one hour....
sob...
wat kind of stupid discipline is that...
haiyo...
that thing kept on itching me only...
tis is so crazy....
what a WISE decision i ve made...
10 days?
ya...
ten days nia..
and i ve still got a whole bunch of knowledge which i not yet absorbed...
geez...
what the hell...

every time you kiss me

everytime you kissed me
I trembled like a child

gathering the roses

we sang for the hope
your very voice is in my heartbeat
sweeter than my dream
we were there in everlasting bloom

roses die
the secret is inside the pain
winds are high up on the hill
I cannot hear you
come and hold me close
I’m shivering cold in the heart of rain
darkness falls, I’m calling for the dawn

silver dishes for the memories for the days gone by
singing for the promises
tomorrow may bring
I harbour all the old affection
roses of the past
darkness falls, and summer will be gone

joys of the daylight
shadows of the starlight
everything was sweet by your side, my love
ruby tears have come to me for your last words
I’m here just singing my song of woe
waiting for you, my love

[samia mia ii sama tia
disama ia mafia
mistia ii samantia
kastiria ira imenitara]

[morta asore
amorita midora
arta karia imifita midola]

now let my happiness sing inside my dream……….

everytime your kissed me
my heart was in such pain
gathering the roses
we sang of the grief
your very voice is in my heartbeat
sweeter than despair
we were there, in everlasting bloom

underneath the stars
shaded by the flowers
kiss me in the summer day gloom, my love
you are all my pleasure, my hope and my song
I will be here dreaming in the past
untill you come
untill we close our eyes

Tonight i feel close to you....

close my eyes and feel your mind
time has passed
I walk like a shadow
never knew
what I am going through
you touch my hand and take my breath away

whisper on the wind so softly
let the bright stars fill our dreams with love
reach for your hand (you're holding my key)
and you show me the way

tonight, I feel close to you
you open my door and light the sky above
when I need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one
I wish we could stay forever as one

all the tears that haunt my past
you promised
it'll be better tomorrow
play that song
you and I listened to
and let it gently ease our pain

tender rain drops from the blue sky
flowers blooming, life is so divine
like sunlight on a stream (you're holding my key)
you show the world to me

tonight, I feel close to you
you open my door and light the sky above
when I need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one

so much love in this beautiful world
search for the brightest star in the sky
you will find the meaning of love
don't be afraid (don't be afraid), just be yourself (just be yourself)
we need this love... I've never knew

tonight, I feel close to you
you open my door and light the sky above
when I need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one

tonight, I feel close to you
you open my door and light the sky above
when I need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one
I wish we could stay forever as one

你在做什么？！

我不明白。。
也不知道。。
一大清早你就那样了。。
现在你是想怎样？
一刀两断？？
只不知道那是最幼稚最白痴的行为吗？
丢到那条东西又怎样？
说它是垃圾又怎样？
你以为那种话能够然我痛彻心非啊？
见鬼啦！！！！
贞子来啦！！！
告诉你。。。
这种东西我已经碰过了。。。
我从来都没有告诉你这件事。。。
现在我就说各故事给你听。。。
以前有一个他妈的臭男人曾经跟一个人吵架。。。
而且是吵得非常过分的。。。
那臭男人终于破口大骂了。。。
另一个人就把曾经是美好事物，犹如天神一般的所有仇男人给的东西全部都毁了。。。
另一个人第一次发神经到如此地步。。。
哼。。。
你知道那是什么时候发生的事吗？
一个非常重要的考试的一个月半前。。。
只从那次的总大事件之后， 另一个人开始改变。。。
他完全不消极，二是乐观的看待这世界。。。
他开始不是只把一件事物放在他眼中，他关照全部他认为是对的事物。。。
他很容易得就把所有不美好的事物丢到九霄云外。。。
很好很好。。。
我认为。。。
人就应该这样。。。
该崔毛求赤的时候再来催毛求赤。。。
这一次跟上一次一样。。
我认为是上天对我的惩罚。。。
总是选在这么警急的时候惩罚我。。。
无所谓。。。
我是不会气馁的。。。
我还有很多事物得完成。。。
这次的事件是我人生中的小插曲。。。
我是绝对会去面对的。。。
但也得看对方怎么应付它。。。
我只知道。。。我什么都没有做。。。
我做我自己而已。。。
你想丢就丢。。。如果那会让你好过的话。。。
但如果哪会让你更难过的话，你最好想清楚一点。。。
人说，做一件事情要选择在对的时间办。。。
两人都不用说什么对不起之类的话。。。
除非有一方真的查觉到做错了什么。。。
人生没有事事绝非。。。
只有靠毅力和努力取得一切。。。
世上的对与错，并非是真正的对与错。。。
那是人类偏出来的借口，是人类为了隐藏弱小心灵的借口。。。

还有两个月多。。。
只有两个月多。。。
之后或许。。。或许会变成两条不同的绳。。。
我只想好好珍惜那短短的时光。。。只是想最后一次拥住那所剩无几的时间。。。
但有的人认为时间会冲洗一切。。。。
我想，是真的吗？

eiichiro ooda

eiichiro ooda...
i wonder where did his ideas came out of...
one piece...
is the longest and the most interesting manga+anime series i've ever seen...
from the way he create the story...
it was like it's near to end but it never is an ending...
it's always the beginning of everything...
first, he started of with gathering the nine most important members for a pirate crew...
a captain-the pirate king-Luffy
a swordsman- roronoa zoro
a navigator- nami
a sniper- usopp
a cook- sanji
a doctor- chopper
a shipwright- franky
a musician- brooke
a historian- robin
each of them, even though they bear different dreams, they stay together, united while achieving their dreams...
that's sumtin that cannot be done in reality...
plus, luffy's crew resemble a world, even though it consist of only 9 person...
right now, i was looking through the raw edition of one piece manga as the subbed version is not out yet...
i wonder how eiichiro ooda twist the storyline inside out left and right but it goes more interesting than before...
he's the best writer/artist i've ever known...
the whole world has known monkey d luffy's identity, as well as portgas d ace's...
i wanted to know how s eiichiro onda going to continue the story line as most the storyline always ended up with sumting like luffy and ace must die or so..
but i dun tink eiichiro onda will let luffy die like tat...
wat i tink was, luffy will reunited with his crew again( i dunno how they will reunite as all of them are separated everywhere around the world. so, how are they going to meet again? Batholomew Kuma s going to help Luffy? wow... that will only happen when the marine is dead...), and then travel to the other end of the world and reach the R-sumting island and get gold d roger's treasure and handed the head to SHANK's before Shank die and then after that continue the journey again and bla bla bla....
ONE PIECE IS NEVER-ENDING!!!!!

JUST DO IT

everyone has a brain....
it all depends on how u use it...
By just doing it, u have lots of steps:
-DO NOT DITHER
- DO NOT hurt ur love ones
- use ur brain WISELY
- tink CAREFULLY before u take any action
- DO NOT tink negatively
- should u say it out loud?
- do you wan2 hurt ur love ones?
- how should u not hurting anyone?
- should i act like nothing happen when there's really sumtin happen? depends...(i said tink wisely)
- should i tell anyone, especially those who i trust very much?-Yes u do...
- should i keep it a secret? yes u do only if u are able to throw it away by urself...
-should i let my emotion out? especially my love ones? yes u do if only u can stay calm and act as normal...
-did u ever tink for your love ones? yes i do...
- how did u tink for him/her?(positively? negatively?)
-if u are tinking positively then JUST DO IT as long as u are not going to hurt him/her...
- if u are tinking negatively then BUZZ THE STUPID-IDIOTIC-NEGATIVE-THINKING OFF and tink again...
- if u are tired of all the thinking, then stop the thinking... go rest.... i said REST!!! or else u make urself more and more stressful and so and so...

First of all, since he/her is your love one, u shud be able to do it for his/her sake... RIGHT?
everyone has his/her own trouble...
however, it depends on how u solve it...
it's like a puzzle... so tink about it...
and, i am not scolding anyone or anything...
i m giving advise, A-D-V-I-S-E...
So... JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

all the SHIPS...

real pal is a person who will not desert you when you are in adversity...
for god sake that phrase was very true...
it symbolize whatever a real friend should be...
as i travel along the path of the earth life...
there's many kinds of ships i need to board on...
but the current ship i stepped on is friendship...
there's a lot of hardship going through...
but i m sure the ship isn't breaking or whatsoever that which are negative...
as the ship is continually building...
someday it might be a batillus-class ship...
from a yacht we started, to a small boat, ferry, caravel and then ship...
i noe tis sounds ridiculous and it doesn't make any sense but i have the freedom to write anything i wanted about tis ship-ship thingy...
but i 've been through a lot of ship that's why i wanted to try on drafting the ship ship...
friendship
family ship
love ship
coloured ships but not shipwreck...
of course not, if i ve been in one of those shipwreck then i wouldn't be here writing the ship-ship nonsense....
bye-bye all the ships...

心情笔录

是的。
天虽然一天天的过去
但我的心情却一直都不是很稳定
破喉咙是一件常有的事
水龙头被开启也是件常有的事
连天气都不放过我
真是有够他x的
一下热一下冷
想说什么我也忘了
乌黑永无法遮没
血红色永藏留
一事无成的我
该怎么弥朴

RAGS no Chinkonka

ラグスの鎮魂歌

星に 雪に 記憶に
きみの あしあとさがす
どうか とわの やすらぎ
ここは 夢のとちゅうで

おさない つばさで 坂道 駆けてく
みちから はぐれて この眼を とじてく

星に 雪に 記憶に
きみの あしあとさがす
どうか とわの やすらぎ
ここは 夢のとちゅうで

いつか すべて もどりて
そらの 果てひとりきり
あなたが待つ やすらぎ
ひかりのあと のこして

おさない つばさで 坂道 駆けてく
みちから はぐれて この眼を とじてく

夢に 愛に 心に
きみの あしあとさがす
とわの ひかりのこして
揺るぎのない つばさで

とわの 愛を あなたに

RAGS no Chinkonka

hoshi ni yuki ni kioku ni
kimi no ashiato sagasu
douka towa no yasuragi
koko ha yume no tochuu de

osanai tsubasade sakamichi kaketeku
michi kara hagurete kono me wo tojiteku

hoshi ni yuki ni kioku ni
kimi no ashiato sagasu
douka towa no yasuragi
koko ha yume no tochuu de

itsuka subete modorite
sora no hate hitorikiri
anata ga matsu yasuragi
hikari no ato nokoshite

osanai tsubasa de sakamichi kaketeku
michi kara hagurete kono me wo tojiteku

yume ni ai ni kokoro ni
kimi no ashiato sagasu
towa no hikari nokoshite
furugi no nai tsubasa de

towa no ai wo anata ni

RAGS Requiem

Through the stars through the snow through the memories
(You) search for your footprints
somehow in this tranquil eternity
This place is in the midst of dreams

You run up the slope with your fledgling wings
Straying from the path with this sealed eye*

Through the stars through the snow through the memories
(You) search for your footprints
somehow in this tranquil eternity
This place is in the midst of dreams

Someday everything will return to what it was
The one place at the top of the sky
is peacefully waiting for you,
trusting the future after the light in good hands**

You run up the slope with your fledgling wings
Straying from the path with this sealed eye

Through dreams through love through the heart
(You) search for your footprints
Leaving behind the eternal light
on steady wings

To you, eternal love will

双人舞

You wanna say love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

身体贴近我 用体温做回答

看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗

那就是love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

真实的触感 爱不只是童话 就深深坠入

双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏

有点烦闷吧 浪漫被公式化

有些爱 加点刺激 更多想象

你也在期待吗 兴奋和我一样

把甜蜜 洒满一地 放纵一下

Oh每个毛细孔 划过你的指甲

Oh温柔的触碰 不安静的心房

Hot hot baby we can set it off the night

双人舞 黑暗里 无法自拔

You wanna say love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

身体贴近我 用体温做回答

看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗

那就是love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

真实的触感 爱不只是童话 就深深坠入

双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏

有点无聊吧 规律的像打卡

有些爱 多点尝试 才有变化

你也在期待吗 兴奋和我一样

碰撞的电流就像烟火绽放

Oh耍一点疯狂 拨乱你的头发

Oh换一个场景 沙发或是厨房

Hot hot baby we can set it off the night

双人舞 黑暗里 无法自拔

You wanna say love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

身体贴近我 用体温做回答

看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗

那就是love love love love love love

And baby girl I say okay okay

真实的触感 爱不只是童话 就深深坠入

双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏

love love love love love love

okay okay

用体温做回答

看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗

那就是love love love love love love

okay okay

爱不只是童话 就深深坠入

双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏

love love love love love love

it's blue day...
even though the week is hell...
yes...
when talk about my chinese and sejarah...
It's the WORST ever since i was born...
damn those two subject...
hell it really was...
but listening to these songs really made myself calm down...
the slow tempo of those songs...
the cheerful notes...
all i can feel was the rapid movement of the fingers when convert into orchestra songs...
so the hell week was left behind and let it be...

the melody...
the rythm...
i heard my heart cried...
not solemn yet alert...
sumthing was ringing...
the alarm...
the danger that walks towards me...
with a mighty pace...
the footprints...
i can see them now...
cause they have been searching for me...
once and twice and thrice...
it seeks for me...
how could i ever remain calm anymore?
someone...
the traitor...
must have took away the key and release the lock...
i cant bear it anymore...
but there's nothing i can do about it...
the past remain unforgiven, unforgotten...
the scar was there....
and will always be there...
towards the future...
towards the dream...
i'll leave the kioku behind...
this is for my sake...
my own sake...

finally...
the hell moment has ended...
jux for a while...
geez...
hoshi ni yuuki ni...

hoshi ni yuuki ni kioku ni...
kimi no ashiato sagasu...
douka towa no yasuragi...
koko wa yume tochuu e...

no matter where u are, no matter where u live,
i ll always follow u...

the life is like a circle...
it does not meant for eternity, and yet it does not meant for a while only...

for the sake that i was here, writing out the nonsensible...
for the sake that i was here, going through whatever it is that i need to meet in the future...
the challenges,
the future,
the unknown...

it's where the spirit lead us to,
our hope...

may god's divine always be with you...

it's still the test season...
but i touched the computer, bcoz sumone there was breakin...
pieces by pieces i tried to reclaim it... to solve it...
but stupid me was like jux letting myself goin through her words...
to feel the emotions within it, to find the truth...
i cant bear seein her, always the one who suffer...
but as i said, i m not good at givin opinions, that's one of my self-hatred...
all i can do, is jux smile and act like nothin happen... i always do tat...
because even though those unbearable feelings went through my heart, i couldn express them, letting them flow like when the water showered above my head, dripping like thousands of rain stones... so hard... so cold... yet so warm... because deep in my heart, i knew it enclosed my heart, caring me... jux like wat ahmi did...
her feelings flow like the numerous rain stones... sumtin unexplainable by words and alphebelts...
there's an advice i wanted to say, follow ur heart, identify ur most suitable place..
the road has not chosen, u cried all u wan but that only let ur stress and tension ease a bit...
the decision maker is always the hardest thing to do, even when it's only YES or NO...
jux like me... even now, i still dunno wat to do about myself... GO or NOT... ISH...
dun take me as the reason, ahmi... jux do whatever u tink u shud... mayb i am ur key but sumtime i really am not ur key...
ahmi is still my key, sorry for the burden to have me as the lock... hehe... i still depend a lot on u... cause i haven chosen my road...

TMD...
that bitchy woman, she's switch on all my nerves...
damn her...
next time i wont repeat tat anymore...
kill that bitchy woman...
i really cant stand it anymore...
made me cant study my sejarah...
me me used chemistry to calm myself..
soi lagi today dun have LUFFY, and SANA...
arghh...
soi soi soi day,..
everything canceled today... arghhh....

That day....
is my Mother's grandmother side birthday...

as i could also call that as the day of my mother's side reunion...
long time lo didn like tat...
it was like the last reunnion tat i had had was 12 years ago...
pretty long hurh?

cause everytime when we had reunion was always during chinese new year, in which when my family reunion with my father's side...
and finally i saw my grandfather again, mother's side lla... for sooo many years i had n seen him...
he didn change i tink...
jux remain the same, however at first sight after soo long i cant seem to recognize him... haha...
my bad my bad... wari wari...

nothing to comment on, jux pictures that i had capture...

i dunno wat to say...
but there s sumtin that has been trappin me...
our storm hasnt go away...
it's still there, following us here and there...
but, one thing is for sure...
u will always be my best fren...
u will always be within my deep heart..
it's going to be a precious memory...
the mystical memories of us bein together, doin stupid things and stuff...
i knew tis was sumtin i needed to go through...
as god made me meet u, and together we ve been through sooo much, we walked through thousands of adventure, we smiled together, tears rolling over our cheeks together...
i ve always been a shy person, but i hated to admit that fact...
that night, u hugged me, saying that u cant live without me...
i really really was happy with that, but i duno wat to say...
all i can do was smile and say sumtin to calm myself down...
the embrace that u ve gave me...
it's too much for me to handle, because i was shy...
even till now... i am still a shy person...
i ve been realising that there's a wall between us, i tried to hit that wall, but it only crack a bit...
day by day... with more and more effort...
finally, it came to tis...
ahmi, u ll always be my best fren...
even though i dun dare to talk about the taboo between us, but i ll crash that taboo out and continue with our tomorrow...
and that necklace that we bought togethere, it's the symbol of our friendship...
that 's y i wear it everyday... i never told u tat but i ll jot it down here...
i am still shy... haha... i used my smile to cover it... i wonder if u realised the truth behind sum of my smile or not...
never mind if u dun... at least u ll noe from now... mayb...
i hate to say tis but, there's only a few months of middle skul life left.. let's cherish it together!!!!

PS: i tink the words are too bright... but it s the colour of our necklace...

Fyulong from 07-ghost, said tat...

All things born into this world,
are promise by the chief of heaven,
to live until obtaining their dreams,
and live according to their own will.
Within that,
true happiness is not somthing
which is granted by others,
it is whithin that a person chooses for himself.
Accept everything.
The thing called LIFE is precious.

guess i wont be seeing u soon...
since SPM is around he corner...
i cant seem to visit u as i always did...
I hate this spm thingy...
but i think everyone needs to overcome this...
like they said, XIAN KU HOU TIAN...
i wonder when will the bitters over...
guess it wont be very soon..
as i m only 17...
turning 17...
a teen...
a young adult...
still, three more months left...
and then my future will slightly be decided by my results...
i dun have lots of confident as i have , reight now, in my archery...
study is another matter, not even the tiniest bit of familiarity as archery...
i hate study, but that's my job as a student...
i wonder what was my before-life...
a witch, as i like magical thing...
a bird, as i like to fly freely...
a king, as i like the golds and money...
a princess, as i like the royal life...
or a nobody, as i like not being in this world...

my day....

it's a wonderful morning...
except for this little thing i di...
NO! BIg thingy...
i ate sumtin which i dun wan2 think i ate it...
this certain thing made me wan2 volmit...
i went to MINI SAU PAU to have breakfast..
my sis ordered a noodle which until now i still dunno what s it s name...
a RM3.50 noodle...
consist of sumtin sumtin...
nothing special...
but sumtin is very special...
i ll show u the picture...

do u noe what is it??
can u try to imagine what it is?
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..
it's Pig intestine...
PIG!!!
at first i dunno what it was...
so i just eat it...
my sis too..
she refused to eat it at first..
but i ordered her to eat...
arghh...
and then i asked the lao ban niang what was it...
she said 猪肠
The end....

it's not likely to be the usual me for writing the blog twice...
but there's sumtin that i wanted to jot down right after i saw that, as blogging has becum one of my important place to express all my feelings down...
even though sum of the stories were wrote for fun only...
but still, i need to jot this down...
i saw it...
she saw it too...
there's sumtin that i dun like to say face to face, as i am a really shy person...
to hug with sumone, to touch sumone, to look at sumone...
those were sumtin beyond my control...
i was usually a person who cant stand people staring at me, i dont dare to touch anyone...
as when i do all those things, my shyness will cum out of nowhere. i dont noe if anyone noticed my shyness or not, i jux hope none of them realised it...
actually, i hate my THAT-self...
the shyness went through all my veins, as i couldnt control it... damn...
i dun dare to speak everything out, sumtime i jux remained silence about what i thought rather than what i talked(which was not true)...
even when we were going through that COLD WAR, i chose not to say anything...
i asked her what happened to her, but she answered NOTHING--which was not real as all of her emotions were written on her face....
i dun wan2 ask anymore, jux let her be... but i did sent her a message saying that when she feel like telling me, dont hesitate to tell me...
so, i took jia wen with me, jia wen kept on asking me was it because of her that ah mi was like tat? i kept on saying NO NO NO, because i never wanted to tink of it that the fact that ah mi was mad at me was slightly related to jia wen...
i knew deep in my heart that jia wen do have a little tiny bit to do with ah mi's sudden change...
because it's always related to ARCHERY...
when sstudying, ah mi wont really have that much of EMO sign as much as during archery...
that's y i swear to my helper that:'' if anything were to happen to our friendship, i swear i will give up all a bout archery and throw it all away."
thank god, nothing like that happened.
as i liked archery very much, which i just realised it NOW...
back then, i was blurred wth my feelings towards archery...
but right after the rececnt tournament, i realised it.
I LOVE ARCHERY.
i love the feeling of going through all the competition, the nervous feeling, the feeling of trying to conquer my jittery mind, the feeling of winning my own mind, the feeling of doing the best i can, the feeling of not being able to control my mind... all sorts of positive and negative feelings...
if i m still in form three right now, and i have cleared my mind that i love archery these much, i would choose to go for the national achery team...
but what to do now?
i have SPM.
i really wished if i could go to the melaka tournament, which will never happen anymore..
i also feel like going to the sibu tournament which is around the corner...
but first, i need to be prepared for my spm trial... which make all my hair falls and also turning white... geez...
i like to read books, but it was like as my hobby only...
as for archery, i wished for it to be with me forever...
but i cant...
my family never thought that i could do very well in archery, as good as treating it as a whole-life job... that's why i never thought of choosing that road, which i regretted now...
i admire beatric, whom manage to continue on that road as her next journey...
i just wished i realised that earlier than now...
my love towards archery...

serdang II ---010

I missed them.
i missed everyone.
i missed it.
i missed everything.
i missed the life there.
i missed it when there are lots of friends there.
i missed it when we drank tea at midnight.
i missed it when we get to talk sbout our lives, stories and so...
i missed my new friends.
i missed jason, faris, helman, jerry, meg, and so...
i missed the feelings there.
i missed mines shopping mall too...
i missed it where we get to play the arcade, the dancing one, the racinh one...
i missed the fun there.
i missed everything everyone get to missed...
i missed.............

Serdang's trip 21/07-27/07 ---009

shocked...

surprised...
flabbergasted...
what else?
sad...
depressed...
lose...
anything i could tink of the negative side, it all appeared on me...
at first, i thought y did god chose me as the one to be punished with that kind of thing..
then i came out with a solution that maybe god took that because i was going to receive sumthing...
but,NO...
nothing happen...
all that happened was-- i lose in those matches, i lost my happy vacation, and most importantly, I ALMOST LOST MY BEST FRIEND.
she seems unstable... now too, maybe...
i thought everything was going as i planned, where everything wasnt going anything as i planned...
the first day, everything turned upside down.
ah mi suddenly dont care bout me... that's the first surprise present for me...
after that, i heard that she was mad about me...
but Y? i didnt do anything wrong? i cant remember a thing that i did wrong...
my world came crumbling, eyes welled with tears, but i withstand it...
i dont know who i should find to talk to... not ah boon and jia wen, and of course not ah mi who was mad at me...
so a SMS my dear HELPer, who i trust half half-ly...
i SMS "wht did i do wrong?" sumting like that...
and then he called me straight away...
haiz, stupid me was like holding back my tears when i talked...
and of course he knew it since my voice was trembling...
okay la.... lazy to talk bout him already...
while i was going thorough the trauma of shocked by ahmi's madness of me, all i could thought of was I WANTED TO GO ONLINE AND JOT ALL OF MY FEELINGS HERE.
and that's what i was doing now...
however, at the evening time of the second day, ahmi suddenly came to sit with me in the bus...
awkwardly, i asked her again. but still, no answer...
there's a big wall between us, that's what i thought that moment...
haiz, then we go eat satay lo... big and fat satay...
that's when this big SARAWAKIAN"S family first sat together at the same table...
it was a happy meal... i drank coconut juice... jerry too, as well as ahmi...
there's one scene where i sucked the juice out but instead i made a loud "chuu-chuu" sound...
that's when morrison JIO me again, with mika...
and then later, ahmi sent me one message that i've slightly known for what had happened to ahmi...
no details of course... let us be the only two who knew it...
and then, at the midnight of our last competition...
ah mi talked HEART to me...
of course ah mi cried...
since we talked heart...
and of course i cried...
i have a heart okay? but i remained calm and smiley, to listen to her... and of course i m not good at giveing opinions, i HATE my DONt-noe-HOW-to-give-opinion-self...
Oh ya! ah boon has got a new galfren!!!! congrate...
but, to tell u the truth boon, i dont really like that girl... since i saw the GELI de messages... SOrry boon! dont angry k?
BACK!!! the whole trip was like, repeating the same whole thing...
even i did my best in that competition, i still dont tink i did my best... stupid me...
go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i liked those challenges...
well...
i ve met sum cool kids during this trip...
there's JASON SIAW, WAN FARIS(FARAH), HELMON, MEG, and Jerry...
here's sum picture i took during an before everything....


me jia wen felicia at secret recipe(MINES)

ME, FARAH, HALMON(TOO BAD MY FACE WAS HALVED)

jERRY AND ME

JIA WEN, JASON AND ME

A PIC IN BUS

NICE SHOT

...... PAI SEH...

END OF TOURNAMENT-SARAWAK TEAM!!!

HURHA...

I'm Away...Again...---008

it's 10.25pm...
there's only snores in this building...
everyone in this building were on their way to their wonderland... some of them might have playing their ALICE...
but not me...
as i am going away from here soon... so soon that i cant catch up with my own pace...
not that i am dying, Choi... but the fact that i am going away for some ridiculous and stupid competition again...
it's all about archery again...
come to think of it, my whole teenage years have been occupied with it...
normal child would not have spent so much time on that particular thing...
or was it that what i did was whatever everyone did during their teens?
what i saw, right in my eyes was the fact that i did something special, different...
friends around me was like,'wow! so nice to have a chance to go outstation with friends again!'
is it?
it's just something i must do for the sake of becoming stronger, powerful...
accurate and consistent archer, a brave one...
yes, i do admit that i was different. i am an archer.. an unknown archer...
a friend of mine asked me somthing just now...
'what make's Bea so concentrate on her shooting? why couldnt we too?'
well, i cant' answer that kind of question as my answer is void... nothing...
archery was like... just a hobby now... right?
maybe, it wasnt my place to be here right now, where i am standing right now...
i could have been away from it, or away from my NOW self...
It's 10.40pm right now...
everyone in this building, was in their wonderland of alice... but not me...

007~ MIT??

no la no la...
not pi li mit...
jux chun chun 007 only...
yep... my idol...
aaron yan...
wat? bout my day? today no archery la.... cause no time...
jux type type type doesnt do any good for me...
one day after ah mi's birthday is true...
bye...

B4 i forget---006

yeah yeah yeah...
b4 i forget about this only chance goin outstation for so long of journey, i tink i shud jot this down...
it was like... 1 and a half months ago this happened...
haha... i went to australia perth la...
only a few of my friends knew bout this...
let me tink...
got Ah mi, PS, SY, Ah Jin, Woan In...
i tink that's all...
oh ya, the twins, wen and qi...
hehe...
well... i bought buns-key chain for them... got smell de o! and fluffy lagi... yumyum...
not for food... sry..
anyway, back to the main topic....
the reason y i wrote this...
as a memory la...
use ur "tut" to tink also noe de la...
y kill ur brain cells...
such a waste...
Back...
well, i went to perth...where?? australia la... i told u di... waste my fingers strehgthonly.
well, i reached early morning... i tink it was btw 5 and 6 am..
the air freezing cool...
stupid me dunno anything about COLD, as a opened the window of the transport(van) to our hotel--- 3 stars de...$99 per night... equal to RM275 i tink...
the cold air kissed my cheeks...
luckily i brought my jacket with me...
or else i should have been an breathing ice di...
reached the hotel, nothing to eat...
i surveyed the streets the first day....
cool MAN!!!! the street resembles those 1950's streets...
it's somehow what we called as romantic...
cause i cant see anything like that back here in miri...
there's even one cool mansion(err, it's actually stick together to other buildings) where they ve got a cool clock which will ring once an hour...
nah...
i'll skip that part...
talk bout the tour i joined the second day...
wait, bout the buses they ve there...
it's so high tech!!!
u wont see anything like that in malaysia for these few years...
the buses was like very automatic and it will reach the destination in the estimated time...
cool isnt it?
that's y i thought of wanting to migrate there... in winter time only.... haha... which is impossible...
everything comes with $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
i dun hav it...><
tour tour tour...
hey, got ammo there la...
but i dun dare to talk to them, especially in front of my mum...
arghh...
i'm shy okay?
i wanted to talk to them, they seems young... there's a couple who were in high skul(i ve been eavesdropping, SRY)... i dun tink they are local as they talked bout earning money and all about being into a new skul...
however, i caught a glimpse of the male highschooler as my mum took a photo of me feeding the kangaroo... he looks kinda cool and that's all... nothing like attracted to him or stuffs... as that s stupid...
whereas the female highschooler was the one who mght attracted everyone...
she's so active... moving up and down non stop...
especially when we go sand surfing...
her strength was like never used up and continuously pumping up the strehgth needed...
pretty impressive...
back to perth...
i ve gone to fremantle, where there's a cool market there....
but i ve gone a t the wrong time...
as the markert is only open at friday, saturday and sunday...
but i went one wednesday i tink...
STUPID...
but we went to the harbour... to eat fresh fish...
it didnt cause me a buck...
cause my uncle paid for it...
woohoo!!!!!!!
he ordered 4 plates of different marine food...
and then 3 ice creams... each cost $5....
wow!!!!!!...
he sent almost 100 dollars or maybe more...
when converted to ringgit malaysia... RM3oo!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!
k la k la...
the food i like the most is the double cheeseburger from hungry jack...
do u noe hungry jack? do u noe it???!!!
it's so lovely and alluring,..
haha...
because of the price...
it's the cheapest among all food!!!!
$5.99 for one cup of ice cream, one double cheeseburger, 1 french fries, and a medium size cup of water...
yum yumm...
i missed it...
sob....
k la...
i ll uoload the photo's taken later..
when i ve time and so....
bye...

WARLIKE---005

It's Warlike....
Our WOrld...
It's WARLIKE!!!
i decided to write these right after our humourous teacher--- Pn. Susan Soh explained about this word...
yes and yeah....
warlike is what a human being is worth calling as...
wherever we go, wherever we are... we are always in a war...
we compete for position, we compete for reputation, we compete for our own sake...
no matter how notorious it is ---reputation
no matter how hardworking it is---position
we fought for it...
even when playing games---mmorpg,ps1,ps2,ps3,nds,psp...
we beat those pitiful technical instrument whenever we lose in a fight....
even games are all about violence now...
because that's our nature...
we are the aggressive one...
we are the violent one...
we are the terminator...
we are the disaster...
we are the destroyer...
we are what we are....
do not deny that....

just admit it, our nature of--- warlike.....

File 004--- My day...

i received the july's reader's digest.
yipee!!
there's nothing to get carried on though...
Jux that, i saw a youth essay competition...
i wanted to join, jux that i dunno how to join...
i ve found sumtin to write about...
and i m almost done with the essay...
it's about the SUKMA i attended last year...
and...
i did sumtin stupid jux now..
that's by making up myself...
this is the first time i did this....
even though i ve lived on this land for like---almost 17 years....
even though i m a lady....
haha....
here's sum picture i took for what i did to myself....
i dun tink it's ugly and i dun tink it's pretty...
just average...

Now Now---003

Now, for the entire new life...
I skipped classes again...
i didn't go to school today...
I don't Know why but life in school was just as boring as boring.
Not that i hate school but there's nothing for me to search...
even going online has become a boredom for me...
Barring Spm is around the corner, yet i didnt touch the books at all.
when there's a void in my mind, i certainly has thought about....
about what i m going to do in the future..
charity services is what i thought about... when i have money...
and then, i wanted to built a library... for those who love books and care for them...
next, i would like to organize a clug or an organization which we search for the talented yet undiscovered... so that they won't be trapped and unknown of their own talented side...
later, i would like to buy a piano of my own... i always wanted a piano, rather than a violin...
But i m happy already as long as i have a musical instrument of my own...
But my love for beauty piano is never gone...
whenever there's a new song or so, the first thing i want to do with the song is to play it with a piano...
i couldn't understand myself...
all i know was, everything of my dream needs hardwork, and then money...
yeah....
now now, SPM....

Archieve 002--- It's Gu Cheung Pyo!!!

Yeah... Who's Gu Chung Pyo? naah... The person from the Boys Over Flower.
Yeah... i just finished it in like 4days.
But i repeated it twice... Now s the second time..
It's one of the most interesting Drama series I've ever seen!
Of cousre i m totally addicted to it!
the Boys are all soooooo handsome!!!
like Kim sang Bum--- the cute one or Cazanova the womaniser

and then Kim Hyun Joong--- the outer space individual with a very high charisma

Lastly Lee Min Ho--- the devilish handsome man or individualistic person...

And sorry bout Kim Jun--- I don't really know how to describe him as his style was like a peacock with a hat... Haha.... That's a compliment not an insult... K

well... the synopsis is that just about a normal yet energetic girl crossing path with the noble men... ended up with whole lot of unsightful tragedy and interesting story line, mostly based on friendship and love...
like the one cheung pyo and ji hoo encountered... the triangle with Can Di...
there's also the story of Ga Eul with Yu bing--- Oh! I love them most. This couple looks very cute to me! + they are young! 19!!!!
the story ends funnily though... haha... u Guys should just watch it rather than having me explaining it in details... Ill keep the details in my head and rewind it myself in my brain....
woohoo... sweet sweet memory after all!!!

Here's the F4--- Shin Hua' F4!!!!

Onl! m0m0--- Boys Over Flower!!!

0nly m0m0---001

It's the first day of school after a long holiday--- well, it's not long anyway. It's just that i had done so many things out there during the holiday.
first day of school is boring after all...
test papers, test papers, test papers...
Isn't it boring?
after all, Life was created to be full of interesting things...
and yet, my life since 16 years and 10 months ago is only about studying, studying and studying...
well, Back to my main story...
there's only 5 months left, till the day where all my hard work during these few years end up in a conclusion.
i could imagine that certain day, when i pack up all the stuff( reference books, test papers, exercises and so on) and just throw it into the rubbish bin... Oops, it should be to the recycling bin...
BACK BACK!!! Quit dreaming!
well, what do i want to talk about right now?
Let me see and think...
AH! That thing. I m Having a severe headache right now. But still, i stay up late to......
watch a stupid Korean movie!
i know it's useless and unreasonable to watch such thing at this moment, but i just can't let my mind control over the HUNGER and PAIN to watch that korean movie series...
there goes my movie, BUbbye...