Lost

Lol Vain? No. I'm Lost.

I feel lost.
Should i blame on the pms again?
Yeah maybe i should or i am just trying to let things out during this 'season'.
This is just the start of my uni life.
Been fed up with those cafeteria's food within this stay of just a mere ten days.
The first week of my lectures are all kind of boring.
Most of the lecturers are local.
My personal tutor is a uk-bort niger Dr Yvonne.
There's this professional skill lecture which is the most boring of all.
Most of the night we are either wasting our time in the SA( Student Association) building, Paul's room, Computer Lab and yada yada yada...
And tonight i tend to not sleep sooo early because someone has been on my mind the whole day. Lot's of thoughts are counter-crossing inside my puny brain and i can't recall what i have been thinking about.

I told you i am lost so i don't know what am i jotting down over here.

Call it Mrs, PMS. As Usual

I said i wouldn't want to call you liao since you are soo busy these few days.
And then you said 'Don't like that larh'.

I said i don't know wat time you are free.
You said 'I'm free i ll tell you. I'm free from 8 to 10'

I said I am not free around that time because most of my classes ends at around 5 and then i'll have to exercise for around 1 hour, dinner for around one hour, shower and washing clothes and do some HOMEWORK for around 2hours. in the end, i'll only be available at after 10.30pm at least.
Then you said:' oh, okay, i prefer to msn though.'

But through msn, i'll have to wait for you to reply me. You are always doing some other things when you are chatting such as chat with another few more friends, watched youtube videos, reading your 9gags, read mangas, streaming animes, organising dota games and in a blue moon doing your assignments etc etc etc...

If i call you, i'll be more at ease, knowing that you are focusing on our chat more instead of doing some other things. Besides, it's me the one who normally made the calls, things should have been the other way round in normal couple routine, well at least on balance, if you want to call the boys-and-girls-are-equal quote.

I mean, it's just a matter of five bucks, or ten bucks, or fifteen bucks, or at most thirty bucks, like for A MONTH, since you are such a great-phone-credit-user.

Ohya, Some things arent suppose to be told. They are supposed to be kept inside the heart, let mr. TIME eat them all up. But what if Mr. TIME cant erase them and things just kept on getting stacked up into a mountain full of 'Useless'-thoughts-volcanoe? Wont there be even greater disasters?

I've always been holding up my feelings, trying not to pressurize you when you are with me, have always been 'jaga-ing' your feelings. Making you as happy as you can with all my mighty-puny-heart.

Whenever i have problems regarding you, i have always been keeping it to myself. Only when you made me worry and furious and all-the-negative-things( in my opinion)-you-did combine into one until i cannot withstand it all alone then i'll seek out for other people's help. Like talk to them, or find something crazy or happpier to do RATHER THAN to think about you.

Well i might be having pms, so blame it on pms, as usual.

Leaving...

Soon, My Uni life is gonna start.
And that means i was having farewell gatherings and dinners and all that.
Most importantly, I'll be leaving Miri.
Separating with my love ones.
Shoppings, Meet-ups, Dinners, Gatherings, Packing....
The last few days in Miri are quite tiresome lol...
Physically, as well as mentally.

Been helding back my feelings. Been going out with my beloved ones. Been spending time with him as much as possible. Been asked not to look back when i walk into the departure hall.

Whenever I look at those items he gave me, I have to keep a hold of myself.
Oh Gosh, I am just going to Kl larh. But why is it so sad lol?
Truthfully, the reason for being so emotional isbecauseofnotbeingabletostaybyhissidewheneverhewantsanymore.

Well, Here's what i wanna tell you.

Baby, okay i'll promise you i'll not look back when i walk into the departure hall. I'll try to stay as calm as possible as if i am just going for a vacation and you are gonna receive some candies when i come back from my vacation. So, remain a good boy kay baby?
Don't you dare naughty naughty with anyone and you guai guai kay? Don't make me worry. Study as wise as possible kay? When you are really really very stress up you can do whatever you think is right to relief yourself but i'd prefer you spam your stress on your computer. =X Don't you dare emo when i leave miri kay? If you emo i'll be even more emo and you should have known that very well.
I want my baby to stay sot sot and a bit wrong-wired. Be cheerful and be my cheeky chapie. Read your 9gags and stay kiddish. Even though i am not physically with you and that's the truth that sadden us the most but still I am always there for you.

I love you and will always do. =3

Gibberish..

Random Picture: Gave me the feeling of having lots of thoughts for the lady

As if i know everything you do, as if i know everything about you.
But in fact i have been guessing the whole time.

What you have been doing?

where have you been?

Did you do something i don't like?

All the wild guesses.

I wanted to know what you did, where you've been.

When a friend of mine sms-ed about you, straight away, i reply him. Because that's the only hint of your whereabout.

But i don't dare to ask more. I don't feel like asking more.

I don't even feel like asking your whereabout. Though i have been struggling with it. Been On and Off for quite a while.

At last i looked for something else which can distract me.

The moment i wrote about this, i can imagine your scent. the sweet scent you have been wearing on your hair.
Looks like i am deeply, in love with this particular guy.
Which i think i shouldn be doing.

Trying to make myself busy is the best option.
But then again you always pop-out of nowhere, distracting me.

I... I... I just have to sort myself a bit now...
Even though it's lovely to have your shadows in every bit of my life, But it turns out to be a disaster as well.

It's not that i am having any negative thoughts regarding our relationships... I don't want to end things at all. That's even stupid.

Maybe this long break is making my brain kinda messed up a bit.

I have no idea with all these gibberish i am typing about. Just feel like getting the mess out of my mind a bit.

Do whatever you think is right. Think whatever you think is wise. This is my solution. It's not concrete but i hope it will stay solid.

One joke. But It's not the same joke to everyone.

Red Joke

when i saw that fact from my friend, i feel like sharing it to my baby.
Well of course it was entirely a joke to me, trying to turn it into a loving joke.

But, it wasn't, for him.

As if i touched wood, i was going to say sorry if he really dislike it.
But then something even more heartbreaking came out from him.

... "save it for someone who deserve it more !" ...

Even without thinking thoroughly about the intention behind the sentence, the words itself pierced directly through my heart.

Maybe if i take it as a joke but.... no way no way.... no matter how many times i look at it... rubbed my eyes... shed my tears away... read through the conversation again and again and again... it's still there... It's true that he just wrote that...

Therefore tears continuously falling along my cheeks onto the table, even while i was resolving with him about that BAD JOKE...

and then all i know was that my heart was doing the thinking, things like, " now then i know i am so unworthy to him ", " after everything i have done he still have that kind of thoughts", "why are you saying that to me, it was actually just a loving joke that i have intended to say". yada yada yada yada...

at least i told him about this. like how that sentence actually meant to me.

Glad you realised it. And i love you still much.

My birthday =3 29.08.1992

It all started off with this boogeyman under my bed by my Baby.

The content of the boogeyman. Lurve it =3

Levi's Voucher and Stage concealer from ahmi~

A cake from Jason's family. =3

A cake from the true label workers. How sweet. LOL with the Ah Lian AHAHA

Having Sushi King with Ahmi~

First Dish, Nachos From Siamese~ I love the crackers.

Yum Yum~

Baby's Main Dish. =3 The Laaaaaaaaaaaaaamb Chop.

Mine. The Cordon Blue Chicken.

The Skinny Boy =3

Eiseh~

Someone's acting cute. =3

The lastly, we went to merdeka mall and watch this zookeeper. There's a monkey in it which looks like him. =3

10.08.2011 We made today special =3

He asked me not to forget about today =3

Today is actually just another normal day.
Been spending my entire morning by watching the drama, 'City Hunter'.

Our outings are normally unplanned. It's like when we feel like going out we go out.

But today we made it special. We announced our relationship to the world( facebook ) HAHA...

No larh, we just spent our time nicely as possible.

We went to Stratos( one of his favourite spots in Miri), then suddenly in the middle of a conversation of going to our next destination which we have not decided, he said:
' Let's go to the beach. '
' Harh? Really? '
' I don't want our outings to always go to the places that i myself only want to go. So, to the beach.'
And then if i am not mistaken, i showed him what i always did when i am the one who literally 'WIN'... a PEACE sign =D

owh maybe, maybe he knows that i love to go beach with him, so he's being a gentlemen today. How sweeeet =3

We went to esplanade, had some chicken butt's, sat on a dead tree trunk, enjoying the sea breeze.

Then we went to tanjung lobang, walked around the seaside, took that sweeet picture and he can't stop talking nonsense stuff which makes me laugh. KID larh u KID!!

*******************************************************

*fill in the blanks*.... AHAHAHAHAHAHA

then we went for our dinner. the Dien Bien Hu... I DUNNO HOW TO SPELL DUN LAUGH AT ME. ='( we sweat during the entire dinner but it was fun and the food is tasty =3

last but not least, we bought Oreo cheesetart from dessert master... OhGosh shouldn have bought that i m growing FATS!

Peace Sign XD

Little days, Big decisions, Different futures.

Where to go and what to do?

4 more days,
to the announcement of my results.

Once the results are known,
I'll have to make my decisions.

Both of which gives me the same career,
But of different learning environment.

One is nearer to my birthplace,
The other one is almost half an Earth radius away.

I want the first one,
definitely not the second one.

I don't wanna leave home too soon,
Not in this kinda condition and mentality.

It's a big decision,
Big enough to worry me up like this.

Such a long days...

Mind-tricking-Letters

These four days has been a long one.
So many choices to make.
So many things to bear.

My result is coming out in another six more days.
There's gonna be lotsa stuffs to do when my result come out.
I hope for an ABB or something higher than that.
But i Don't have really great hopes for it.

My life is destined to be decided by just a mere difference of two letters.
It s either an A more or a B less.
Those letters are playing mind tricks on me.
I don't want my life be decided by just a mere Alphabelt.

Been spending lotsa money on my stuff.
It's actually a preparation for my future four years of uni-life.
Imagine RM900 gone within a day just to buy two stuff.
I was like whoaaaaaaa~

This week...
I am back being an archer again.
The pain that i've once been accompanied being an archer.
The Mates that have been once the important ones during my life as an archer.
The internal mindset that an archer should have.
I actually miss archery.
It was my life during my secondary school years.

These few days is gonna be a long one.
With my period on, and my upcoming announciation of A-level results, and lotsa decision to be made...
I'll be totally exhausted.

Golden rule

To have someone who's willing to break his/her golden rule for you, that someone is really one you should cherish a lot.

Golden rule, I am not talking about the golden rule from different religions. I am talking about the golden rule one has set for themself.

I have never set a concrete rule or a golden rule for maself. But all i know is once it's broke, you have it NO MORE.

To think about you have it NO MORE, it's kinda sad actually. Isn't it?

Just within a brief moment, I am no more who i was. But i am glad i made through it. =)

And never regret once you break the rule, i mean come' on. It's a golden rule and if you feel that you MIGHT regret it, you shouldn have break the golden one. It's not a golden one if you break it and then regret it. It never is.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

Separation

I GRADUATED!!! Lmao....

Sweating

Waiting

Starving

Yawning

Photo-shooting

Smiling

Laughing

It was the graduation day just now.. Been waiting for the convo since 11am and finally it ends at 4pm, photoshooting with pals and then we head on for our lunch-ner( lunch + dinner ) at the musical hall until after 5pm.


The graduation wasn't the big deal. The extreme deal is that, peopla are going separates way after this. Some of them gonna head to curtin, some of them gonna head for nottingham University, some of them gonna go study abroad in UK, Australia, German etc...


Even before the graduation ceremony starts, some of our friends have already left us, to further pursue their future dreams.. Like michelle and kingyie, those two left the earliest among all of us, going to nilai and inti respectively. And then there comes kahming, joy and jiachee, moving ahead of us to MAHSA just one-two days ahead of the graduation ceremony. And then few more days in the future, yingsheng is gonna leave us to pursue his dream of becoming an optometrist.


And in less than three weeks time, our result is gonna come out. Most of us are depending of our results to decide:-
1. What course are we choosing?
2. Where are we going?


I have had my mindset of: ' As long as i got an BBB or ABC and above final's result, i am gonna fly straight away to UK sunderland. But what if i did not meet the requirement? Well there's always an alternative for everything. Mahsa B pharm i suppose? Or the least of all, chemical engineering at curtin sarawak? If i am studying in Malaysia, for god sake OF course i am gonna apply for the loan so that my mum won't be MOANING about me...'


I dislike separation. Not to mention separating with Baby Troll. That's why Going to curtin is of my least consideration because i don't really like one of the subject in engineering --->MECHANICS but he's there. =3


However, being able to go through separation, is a test for every kinds of relationship. Friends can still be friends even when they do not meet with each other. Couples who separated, can still maintain their relationship if they wanted to.

Parts of us =D look at how Ronny smile~

The HARRY POTTER VERSION

Holding on to, ReUnion.

Present is a gift.

the mature version of P-F-P

The Quote:

The past is a history, the future is a mystery, but the present is a gift.

To me, This is a very meaningful quote. I don't care what has happened in the past, and the future is still a wonder to me. But being in the present, i have everything i need and what i am meant to be or to do.

A wonderful family,

Exposing to the life of being a pharmacy,

Having Friends of different likes and behaviours,

Meeting new friends,

Enjoying the life of being a freeloader,

Blogging,

Gossiping,

Playing Online Games,

Facebook-ing,

Having a Cute and Naughty boyfriend (Are you =) ?).

But i won't live within those forever. I have a future to create, a history to carry on. But while i do that, i'll cherish whatever i have in the present. And all of these, revolves around one thing.

The Time.

I realised it has never been waiting for me. whereas me, on the other hand, is waiting for time.

The Cute version of P-F-P.

We knew each other for 7months--> Beb's confession.

i just wanna tell u that i love u so so much

what am i without u..

u mean alot to me

i looked back this past 6 odd months

i realised how much you;ve changed for me

how much u've done for me

and how i am , well

me

im just being me all these while

and u still love me so much..

i love u eileen , thanks for being there for me all the time

sorry i made u cry

'i cant promise i wont make u cry again since ur such a cry baby , but i promise i will still love u even though u cried

for me

muaks babe

love , jason

baby, first of all, it should be 7months, coz it's 1st of july and we have known each other for 7months.

And i am sorry i am a cry baby but i am just showing you the real me, how fragile i am.

Even though i look tough on the outside, it doesnt mean for the inside too.

i love you not because of who you are and how are you, i love you because you are jason.

the naughty jason, the childish jason, the manja jason, the rebellious jason, the tall jason, the skinny jason, the talkative jason, the cute jason...

And, it would be very FUNNY if you stop loving me because i am a cry baby.

I love my baby very much, despite all those things we have gone through.

I realised June 2011, is a month full with sadness and happiness at the same time. Just a mere one months could have made us gone through so many incidents.

I am glad we have gone through it and here it is, the beginning of july.

I love you a load, and will continue to love you...

Cried...In front of him...

Before today ends, i want today be a kioku.

I shredded my tears in front of you.

It was because i saw how are you.

Annoyed...

Frustrated...

Your brows lifted...

Hence, i don't know what should i do.

And, i don't really remembered what happened, but i know i cried...

A while later, after i mumbled something, you hugged me...

You saw me crying...

You reminded me of how public my blog is..

And hence, for your sake, and for once again, i'll make it private, because i love you.

Trust

Sadness, I took it on the same day it happened to me.

What should i say about that?

I was debating with myself, whether or not this is the right moment to ask about it, and then what should i do when it's the answer i don't want?

Lies, deceives... Truth will be uncovered, no matter how long it takes. And once it is uncovered, disasters is the next.

Trust, is everything everyone needs in any relationships, whether or not it's between friends, families, and your love ones.

Even a small issue, could have ruin the trust. And i doubted it, will love be able to cover up that small hole?

I'll let TIME be my decision, as i have let my patience to be my guidance to the timing.

Being sad, is better than losing trust. As sadness can be erased by happiness. But not trust.

Think, if it's a good lie, and the truth will not give any PERMANENT damages, you may do it. However, if it's a lie in which the Truth will not give any TEMPORARY SCARS, Think again, whether it's worthy to lie.

I've just gotten a hole deep inside my heart. And I am covering it with happiness, nourishing it with time, growing it with love. That's all i can do to subside the permanent scars...

I am glad for the Sincere love you gave me, and i am not stupid enough to end this because of such a small scenario, may time heal the scars you have given me.

My thoughts.. Countless thoughts... and it all revolves around you

The tear.

I am afraid...
But i can't tell you...

And it's a coincidence that you never bother to look or search for this blog of mine...

Most of my thoughts are here...

I am actually kinda glad you are not here...

I've always thought couples can talk about everything...

Well there are exceptions too such as ex'es but i think i am okay about ex'es, because i am the present, ex'es stands for nothing.

I don't know about people thoughts...

But it's my own thoughts that has brought me here today...

I am afraid really...

I am afraid when i pressured you, you'll try to smoke...

Smoking is a very big issue to me. a very big one. And i don't think you know how big it is to me. all you know is that i hate smokers and that's all.

If i say i regret being together with you, then i would be untruthful to myself too.

I regret being a part of your life at the same time i am glad i am a part of your life.

I tried to learn to accept that part of you which i dislike and i did it.

I love you knowing you are a smoker and know that you will still smoke sometimes but you are trying your best not to smoke and keep a good image of you.

You don't do that in front of your family and you won't do it in front of me will you? If you do then i will be treated as an equal almost like your family then i'll know my place and position in your life.

Know why i agreed on helping with your maths quiz? well we talked a bit about this before but not very deep and clear. I wanted to be of good use to you when i can, i don't want to reject you. I wanted to show how good i am and i wanted you to find me when you need help. If i reject you, then there will be one less chance for me to be a part of your life... To others it might sounds like you are using me or something not good, but i am willing to do it and it just shows how stupid i am when it comes to you and it's all you. I just wanted to be your everything when i can and i CAN...

When i went out with friends and i decided to tell you what i an doing or what we talked about or when we talked about you, i paused. Because it doesn't seems that you bother to know every parts of my life. Maybe you are thinking you should leave some spaces to me( in which you leave me a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of space, too much but oh well), or maybe you are really not interested with my life, or maybe you just don't care. oh whatever these are my thoughts i have no idea of what are you thinking.

You are afraid of facing the crying me. I am kinda sad with it actually. I am sad. I cried because of you. I am worried I am afraid I fear for you and I miss you and I love you...

I'll be carrying a thick eye bags tomorrow definitely. Because i was shredding my tears for the entire passage. Imagine me with tears... That would be funny...

My thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my affections... It all revolves around you... These are how much i love you. I am just a stupid girl when i truly love a person. And once i am hurt i'll shut my heart tight for some long times...

I sound stupid but It's okay...

I hate it when i hate you because i love you when i hate you...

Footsteps =)

Tonnes of footsteps, each was made with different thoughts

I wonder how's he/she doing right now.

Ohmygosh, this is it this is it! it suits him/her very very well!

I bet he/she will be very happy when he/she heard the news.

Have these thought ever come to you, in the middle of doing something or while you are bored doing nothing? I always do. But i'll assure myself to do my stuff first. And then when i've done my stuffs, i tend to forget what was it that i thought about, sweetly.

If only i can/want to direct the thoughts to you immediately and instantly, but then i am sort of afraid, or maybe angry, if you put the signals aside because you were kinda busy at the same instant. And you thought you will be able to reply my signals after you've done your stuffs, but you ended up forget about it instead.

Imagine walking on the white sandy beach, you saw lots of unknown footsteps, you intend to follow it, until the final footstep, because the other further footsteps has been washed away by the seawater. Curiousity led you all the way there to the so-called final step, but then why did the footstep's owner stop in the middle of nowhere? I don't know, really. Maybe footstep's owner doesnt want you to know him/her any further, or maybe it's just a way to get you out of boredom in that short moment, or maybe it's just a way to let you fantasized about what's the footstep's owner thinking and doing at that time.

I know nothing about footsteps. I just want to keep track.

FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER

I'll Love you, FOREVER.

I'll be waiting for you, FOREVER.

I'll never give up on you, FOREVER.

You'll always be my dream Girl or Boy, FOREVER.

We'll live happily, FOREVER and EVER.

I promise you, FOREVER.

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUT IT OUT GUYS!!!!!!

What's with all these FOREVERSSSSSSS??? Have you guys ever think about what you talk before your mouth spilled out something like those SWEET-SWEET phrases above?

*PUKE

Definitions of Forever:-

1.For everlasting time;

2.For a limitless time;

3.For a very long or seemingly ENDLESS time.

Okay, Oh my my... It's tired to know the word 'Forever' to have quite a Load of definitions and it's FOREVER to know the Exact meaning.

I don't really like it when couples announced to the whole world( via facebook or Twitter or Friendster or any other social network) in which they are gonna love each other FOREVER and then I was like, 'Hurh? Forever? Are you sure?'

If you are a person who has the same thoughts as i am and your partner cannot understand why did you never mentioned the word 'FOREVER' in any sweet-talked you have had with your partner, explain to them! Explain in a way that you can keep his/her heart on you to the fullest even after you have explained. Dont Tell him/her something like ' I don't think there's such a thing as 'forever' in this world, so i would prefer not to use that.'

Oh my my, you are soo dull you've just broken my heart. It only shows how coward you are and how fearful you are towards any future of togetherness with him/her.

Then how should you explain? Oh there's one easy way i've gotten here. Just tell him/her that:'I won't use the word FOREVER but i'll try my very own best to give both of us the kind of future we want. We can never be certain of the kind of future we have, but i am sure it's gonna be a good one, a bright future where there's you and me. ( oh ya don't forget to add something sweet behind if you know what i mean).'

Oh yeah.. That is the kind of sweet-talk where you don't have the need to use the word 'forever'.

So when can you use the word 'forever' if you can't even use it in your sweet-talk? Ahhh... When you vow to God i am sure you'll need it, especially when you are wearing gowns or tuxedos.

You can even use the word 'forever' when you are sorta fed up with your endless work, something like, ' Oh god, this is forever'.

There are still many occasions where you can use that word. If you meant something endless in a jokingly manner, go ahead~ But if you meant it in a serious manner, then think seriously before you use it.

For me, 'Forever' itselves meant for only three things. It's either you are Joking, or you thought you can do what you say FOREVER and then ended up failing on me( considered as JOKING), or you really can do it Forever.

Oh ya, TELL YOUR PAPA AND MAMA THAT YOU'LL LOVE THEM FOREVER!!!!

The Break Ups... And the Marrriage

I've heard some of breaking ups recently. My tomodachi in Riam Tech.. And my dear's friend...

The fact that i Hate break ups will never change.. No one likes break ups..
However, those two break ups i've heard of, are mainly because of the so-called DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP thingy.

Well, it's not like distance relationship will never work. i've got two close friends who are having distance relationship. They did well as normally like how a DAY-DAY-STICK-TOGETHER-COUPLES did. They chat, they sweet-talk( no intimacy though), they fought, but still they stay close together. They meet only a few times in a year, another friend of mine didn't even get to meet with his GF because of his financial problem, he's only waiting for his gf to visit him when she's got the chance. The guy complaint to me that he was being useless but still they are doing great, as amazingly as i thought they are amazing for being able to maintain such an amazing relationship.

It's sweet, seeing couples stick together everyday, every hour, every minute. And as amazingly they won't get bored with each other, it's very amazing that they have each other in every seconds of their life. This kind of togetherness is not what every couples can withstand of. Different couples have different ways and style of maintaining their relationship and moving on with their lives. I am in between those two though. =)

But what makes a relationship a failure? Mainly, it's because of the lack of TRUST. There's several Main Trust that some couples need to know :-
1.Distance-Trust, ( Awww~ There's this thing call : 'even when we are apart, you'll always be in my heart', though sometimes i don't really approve on it. )
2.Togetherness-Trust,
3.Time-Spending-Trust, (give each other some personal time, the world is not always between YOU AND ME ONLY)
4.Money-Trust, 5.Intimacy-Trust, ( Once in a while, intimacy is needed. It keeps your relationship boiling. ^^ )
6.Opposite-Sex-Trust ( For some cases, homosexual did happen even when you are heterosexual. Be careful. LOL!)
7.Life-style-Trust 8.Honesty-Trust
9. blablabla
10. etc. ( slacking off....)

Well, every couple have their very own way to trust each other though. I just hate break ups and it doesnt change the fact that it's Prince William And Princess Kate's Marriage today! =)

Fractures of Emotion

It's uncontrollable, wasn't it? For me, it is. Once i settle down myself, my mind tends to wander around. While being in this state of mine, i wander towards it automatically. It's not like i purposely think about it, but it came in unintentionally. And so i let my mind wander. As i couldn't control what my true emotions are.

It's crystal clear, like how truthful an innocent kid is.

Care and gentleness.. It has been a while since i've felt them. =)

Silence kills, not directly but slowly. Just like a cancerous cell.

kioku heals, bit by bit but not a lot. =)

My Quote is true.

Life is Breathless. Pacing in a tremendous speed. My slow Footstep ain't catching up, until i hold onto it again.

Happy Easter Day =)

I've known nothing about Easter Day... I thought Easter was on Friday.. But Friday was Good Friday..

And I've known that Some Christians starved from Good Friday until Happy Easter Day. For a person like me who has never been extremely involved with Christianity and never have i been trying to learn about Christianity Deeply, what do you expect me to know? Those are new stuffs to me. I am still a child or maybe a baby when it comes to the world of Christianity.

I was born in a family who has no religious. But my cousins does. So did my BF. And so did my friends.

Among all of the religions, i love christian the most. I am not trying to attack other religions or so, i just love the way the Christian show their affections towards their Lord.

However, Christians are then subdivided to different Denominations. I've been exposed to S.I.B. , Methodists, and Roman Catholic. For S.I.B. and Methodists, I've involved myself with those youth activities and Sunday Schools. As For Roman Catholic's, i attended few times of Morning Mass and a Station of the Cross.

I found several differences between those three:-
1. I seldom saw SIB's kids or teenagers attending mass with their parents. Most of them went for Sunday schools or Sunday activities while their parents are attending the mass. i mean Most of them.
2. The Rhyme the SIB's sang during masses are very cheerful most of the time.
3. blablabla
4. etc etc etc
5. *yawns
....

I am tired... Gonna sleep soon.

The reason why i wrote this blog is because someone said i am not sincere. Okay Fine. How do you suppose a person to be sincere on something one hasn't known about, like immediately? I agreed with you when you first brought me there and i found it to be amazing because it was different from any other churches i've been attending in the past. The kneeling especially. I was told it is an act of respect towards Lord. You've told me not to kneel before Him when during that time i have no idea about what does kneeling mean. And now that i know what does kneeling mean, i've no idea who and how and at what state should a person be kneeling to our Lord.

Still.. Happy Easter Day.. =)

Home Alone =|

Tuna Bun?( H C B )

It was A fun day earlier. Hanging out with my old pals----> Archery friends. Not to mention meeting up with kimmie~ i need photos, PHOTOS for that.. =(

When i got home, there's no one so i thought they might be home by 6 or 7pm but still.... i am HOME ALONE...

i got bored... nothing to do actually... thinking of starbucks, starbucks, starbucks( ah siong T_T bring me to starbucks please T_T)....STARBUCKS...

Then i thought about my dear, hanging out with his Boyfriend( sigh, u must have had so much fun while i was sulking at home... T_T, both Eexin and Yeesian mentioned about you when i saw them at PC fair you know... Sigh... )

And so i made myself a Dinner..

Actually i microwaved it ONLY.... Ngahahahahaa.... A simple dish yet a homely feeling =)

You Won't get this if you are not Home =)

Between... I am having sore-throat out of nowhere.. Cis.... =(

Beautiful weekend =)

The thought of not being able to go to the beach( again )?

Well of course i have had it.. Since the sky looks a bit dark and cloudy..

And it's Miri we are talking about, too much sunshine and too much raining ( so contradicting ).

But, 天助我也( God's standing on my side ). =)

Sisterssssssssssss..............................................

Realised the HairBand and the Pink Slippers On the wrong hands and legs? =D

Damn, Why is it your legs soooooooooo skinny.... T_T

My friend said I became fat LIAO... SAAAAAAAAAAAADD...

It was a beautiful Sunday, and i love it the way we enjoyed the SanPok and the ChitChat. =3

DAD...

Childhood Dream

I have no idea what has been filled inside your narrow mind.

What kind of kampung thoughts have you been occupied with.

I am absolutely unhappy about the fact that you judge people before you actually know them.

And then create stuffs about others.

You were given a chance to at least speak to the person i wanted you to know.

Yet, you stay inside the room not even wanted to show a FACE to others, not to say GREET.

When it comes to the peak moment, you carry out the FACT that you haven't know the person.

This is TOO ironic.

You are the one who does not want to know others and yet you blamed on i-don't-know-who.

Okay FINE.

My mum said you are really NARROW minded.

I x99999999999999999999999999999999 agree with it.

I saw how you performed during your work. Throw the phone? maybe you were too stressful that's why you did that. Luckily you didn't saw my flabbergasted expression for that tiny menee moment.

Maybe i am wrong, for PAK-TOR-ING at THIS AGE( WTH i am almost 19). And should focus on my STUDIES ENTIRELY. No wonder you don't seems to have a lot of LIFE in your LIFE. Only know study needs to focus entirely. But then i don't see any improvements in your STUDIES? you failed countless times when compared to mummy who's more open-minded.

DAD, what kind of century are you living in? it's the 21st already 21st okay? Even mummy accepts the 21st century way of thoughts already. And you still have no idea about how to use an e-mail?

Why am i crying? Because i can't control my feelings when i am in front of my FAMILY. I am showing you the real me. Unless you want a fake ME then i shall me faking in front of you EVERYTIME and once i get used to it you will not see the real me anymore do you want THAT?

Mummy said no wonder people don't respect you. I mean, even if you wanted to change, it will be quite impossible cause you have been like this for the past 50years?

Respect others is a need to be successful in one's life. Being respected is even more important to have a better life.

Your my dad that's why I respect you.

My Bio Assignment

Female Golden Snub Nosed monkey

Actually, the idea of doing an assignment about a monkey came from this one guy namely *** *** ****. He saw me the world's tiniest monkey some weeks ago. Then last week our BELOVED Biology teacher gave us an assignment. Without thinking twice, i gladly chose ONE-OF THE-ENDANGERED-MONKEY-SPECIES as my animal.

My pea brain only knows ORANG UTAN, which was one of the endangered monkeys but i don't want to do that cause it sounds LAME. So i browse through the IUCN redlist website, there's around 100+ of monkeys inside the red list. What the heck.

Then my friend gave me an idea. Try to find those endangered species that lives around us. And so i found this weird golden monkey. It's really weird because it has a SNUBBED NOSE.

The scientific name for it is Rhinopithecus. There are around 5 species named based on their hair colour i think. Nothing much about it anyway. except the fact that one of the sub-species, Myanmar Snub-Nosed Monkey which was found during October last year SNEEZES. Because when it rains the raindrops fall into the snubbed nose that's why it sneezes. =.=

I bloggged about it because just before i started doing my assignment this afternoon, i found out that the February's National Geographic has an article about it. Hey i never touched those National Geographic cause they are too LOSO~

However, the more i look into those snub-nosed monkeys, the cuter they are to me.. LOL!

Male Golden Snub nosed monkey

Random post =.=