My thoughts.. Countless thoughts... and it all revolves around you

The tear.

I am afraid...
But i can't tell you...

And it's a coincidence that you never bother to look or search for this blog of mine...

Most of my thoughts are here...

I am actually kinda glad you are not here...

I've always thought couples can talk about everything...

Well there are exceptions too such as ex'es but i think i am okay about ex'es, because i am the present, ex'es stands for nothing.

I don't know about people thoughts...

But it's my own thoughts that has brought me here today...

I am afraid really...

I am afraid when i pressured you, you'll try to smoke...

Smoking is a very big issue to me. a very big one. And i don't think you know how big it is to me. all you know is that i hate smokers and that's all.

If i say i regret being together with you, then i would be untruthful to myself too.

I regret being a part of your life at the same time i am glad i am a part of your life.

I tried to learn to accept that part of you which i dislike and i did it.

I love you knowing you are a smoker and know that you will still smoke sometimes but you are trying your best not to smoke and keep a good image of you.

You don't do that in front of your family and you won't do it in front of me will you? If you do then i will be treated as an equal almost like your family then i'll know my place and position in your life.

Know why i agreed on helping with your maths quiz? well we talked a bit about this before but not very deep and clear. I wanted to be of good use to you when i can, i don't want to reject you. I wanted to show how good i am and i wanted you to find me when you need help. If i reject you, then there will be one less chance for me to be a part of your life... To others it might sounds like you are using me or something not good, but i am willing to do it and it just shows how stupid i am when it comes to you and it's all you. I just wanted to be your everything when i can and i CAN...

When i went out with friends and i decided to tell you what i an doing or what we talked about or when we talked about you, i paused. Because it doesn't seems that you bother to know every parts of my life. Maybe you are thinking you should leave some spaces to me( in which you leave me a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of space, too much but oh well), or maybe you are really not interested with my life, or maybe you just don't care. oh whatever these are my thoughts i have no idea of what are you thinking.

You are afraid of facing the crying me. I am kinda sad with it actually. I am sad. I cried because of you. I am worried I am afraid I fear for you and I miss you and I love you...

I'll be carrying a thick eye bags tomorrow definitely. Because i was shredding my tears for the entire passage. Imagine me with tears... That would be funny...

My thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my affections... It all revolves around you... These are how much i love you. I am just a stupid girl when i truly love a person. And once i am hurt i'll shut my heart tight for some long times...

I sound stupid but It's okay...

I hate it when i hate you because i love you when i hate you...

Footsteps =)

Tonnes of footsteps, each was made with different thoughts

I wonder how's he/she doing right now.

Ohmygosh, this is it this is it! it suits him/her very very well!

I bet he/she will be very happy when he/she heard the news.

Have these thought ever come to you, in the middle of doing something or while you are bored doing nothing? I always do. But i'll assure myself to do my stuff first. And then when i've done my stuffs, i tend to forget what was it that i thought about, sweetly.

If only i can/want to direct the thoughts to you immediately and instantly, but then i am sort of afraid, or maybe angry, if you put the signals aside because you were kinda busy at the same instant. And you thought you will be able to reply my signals after you've done your stuffs, but you ended up forget about it instead.

Imagine walking on the white sandy beach, you saw lots of unknown footsteps, you intend to follow it, until the final footstep, because the other further footsteps has been washed away by the seawater. Curiousity led you all the way there to the so-called final step, but then why did the footstep's owner stop in the middle of nowhere? I don't know, really. Maybe footstep's owner doesnt want you to know him/her any further, or maybe it's just a way to get you out of boredom in that short moment, or maybe it's just a way to let you fantasized about what's the footstep's owner thinking and doing at that time.

I know nothing about footsteps. I just want to keep track.

FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER

I'll Love you, FOREVER.

I'll be waiting for you, FOREVER.

I'll never give up on you, FOREVER.

You'll always be my dream Girl or Boy, FOREVER.

We'll live happily, FOREVER and EVER.

I promise you, FOREVER.

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUT IT OUT GUYS!!!!!!

What's with all these FOREVERSSSSSSS??? Have you guys ever think about what you talk before your mouth spilled out something like those SWEET-SWEET phrases above?

*PUKE

Definitions of Forever:-

1.For everlasting time;

2.For a limitless time;

3.For a very long or seemingly ENDLESS time.

Okay, Oh my my... It's tired to know the word 'Forever' to have quite a Load of definitions and it's FOREVER to know the Exact meaning.

I don't really like it when couples announced to the whole world( via facebook or Twitter or Friendster or any other social network) in which they are gonna love each other FOREVER and then I was like, 'Hurh? Forever? Are you sure?'

If you are a person who has the same thoughts as i am and your partner cannot understand why did you never mentioned the word 'FOREVER' in any sweet-talked you have had with your partner, explain to them! Explain in a way that you can keep his/her heart on you to the fullest even after you have explained. Dont Tell him/her something like ' I don't think there's such a thing as 'forever' in this world, so i would prefer not to use that.'

Oh my my, you are soo dull you've just broken my heart. It only shows how coward you are and how fearful you are towards any future of togetherness with him/her.

Then how should you explain? Oh there's one easy way i've gotten here. Just tell him/her that:'I won't use the word FOREVER but i'll try my very own best to give both of us the kind of future we want. We can never be certain of the kind of future we have, but i am sure it's gonna be a good one, a bright future where there's you and me. ( oh ya don't forget to add something sweet behind if you know what i mean).'

Oh yeah.. That is the kind of sweet-talk where you don't have the need to use the word 'forever'.

So when can you use the word 'forever' if you can't even use it in your sweet-talk? Ahhh... When you vow to God i am sure you'll need it, especially when you are wearing gowns or tuxedos.

You can even use the word 'forever' when you are sorta fed up with your endless work, something like, ' Oh god, this is forever'.

There are still many occasions where you can use that word. If you meant something endless in a jokingly manner, go ahead~ But if you meant it in a serious manner, then think seriously before you use it.

For me, 'Forever' itselves meant for only three things. It's either you are Joking, or you thought you can do what you say FOREVER and then ended up failing on me( considered as JOKING), or you really can do it Forever.

Oh ya, TELL YOUR PAPA AND MAMA THAT YOU'LL LOVE THEM FOREVER!!!!