Present is a gift.

the mature version of P-F-P

The Quote:

The past is a history, the future is a mystery, but the present is a gift.

To me, This is a very meaningful quote. I don't care what has happened in the past, and the future is still a wonder to me. But being in the present, i have everything i need and what i am meant to be or to do.

A wonderful family,

Exposing to the life of being a pharmacy,

Having Friends of different likes and behaviours,

Meeting new friends,

Enjoying the life of being a freeloader,

Blogging,

Gossiping,

Playing Online Games,

Facebook-ing,

Having a Cute and Naughty boyfriend (Are you =) ?).

But i won't live within those forever. I have a future to create, a history to carry on. But while i do that, i'll cherish whatever i have in the present. And all of these, revolves around one thing.

The Time.

I realised it has never been waiting for me. whereas me, on the other hand, is waiting for time.

The Cute version of P-F-P.

We knew each other for 7months--> Beb's confession.

i just wanna tell u that i love u so so much

what am i without u..

u mean alot to me

i looked back this past 6 odd months

i realised how much you;ve changed for me

how much u've done for me

and how i am , well

me

im just being me all these while

and u still love me so much..

i love u eileen , thanks for being there for me all the time

sorry i made u cry

'i cant promise i wont make u cry again since ur such a cry baby , but i promise i will still love u even though u cried

for me

muaks babe

love , jason

baby, first of all, it should be 7months, coz it's 1st of july and we have known each other for 7months.

And i am sorry i am a cry baby but i am just showing you the real me, how fragile i am.

Even though i look tough on the outside, it doesnt mean for the inside too.

i love you not because of who you are and how are you, i love you because you are jason.

the naughty jason, the childish jason, the manja jason, the rebellious jason, the tall jason, the skinny jason, the talkative jason, the cute jason...

And, it would be very FUNNY if you stop loving me because i am a cry baby.

I love my baby very much, despite all those things we have gone through.

I realised June 2011, is a month full with sadness and happiness at the same time. Just a mere one months could have made us gone through so many incidents.

I am glad we have gone through it and here it is, the beginning of july.

I love you a load, and will continue to love you...

Cried...In front of him...

Before today ends, i want today be a kioku.

I shredded my tears in front of you.

It was because i saw how are you.

Annoyed...

Frustrated...

Your brows lifted...

Hence, i don't know what should i do.

And, i don't really remembered what happened, but i know i cried...

A while later, after i mumbled something, you hugged me...

You saw me crying...

You reminded me of how public my blog is..

And hence, for your sake, and for once again, i'll make it private, because i love you.

Trust

Sadness, I took it on the same day it happened to me.

What should i say about that?

I was debating with myself, whether or not this is the right moment to ask about it, and then what should i do when it's the answer i don't want?

Lies, deceives... Truth will be uncovered, no matter how long it takes. And once it is uncovered, disasters is the next.

Trust, is everything everyone needs in any relationships, whether or not it's between friends, families, and your love ones.

Even a small issue, could have ruin the trust. And i doubted it, will love be able to cover up that small hole?

I'll let TIME be my decision, as i have let my patience to be my guidance to the timing.

Being sad, is better than losing trust. As sadness can be erased by happiness. But not trust.

Think, if it's a good lie, and the truth will not give any PERMANENT damages, you may do it. However, if it's a lie in which the Truth will not give any TEMPORARY SCARS, Think again, whether it's worthy to lie.

I've just gotten a hole deep inside my heart. And I am covering it with happiness, nourishing it with time, growing it with love. That's all i can do to subside the permanent scars...

I am glad for the Sincere love you gave me, and i am not stupid enough to end this because of such a small scenario, may time heal the scars you have given me.

My thoughts.. Countless thoughts... and it all revolves around you

The tear.

I am afraid...
But i can't tell you...

And it's a coincidence that you never bother to look or search for this blog of mine...

Most of my thoughts are here...

I am actually kinda glad you are not here...

I've always thought couples can talk about everything...

Well there are exceptions too such as ex'es but i think i am okay about ex'es, because i am the present, ex'es stands for nothing.

I don't know about people thoughts...

But it's my own thoughts that has brought me here today...

I am afraid really...

I am afraid when i pressured you, you'll try to smoke...

Smoking is a very big issue to me. a very big one. And i don't think you know how big it is to me. all you know is that i hate smokers and that's all.

If i say i regret being together with you, then i would be untruthful to myself too.

I regret being a part of your life at the same time i am glad i am a part of your life.

I tried to learn to accept that part of you which i dislike and i did it.

I love you knowing you are a smoker and know that you will still smoke sometimes but you are trying your best not to smoke and keep a good image of you.

You don't do that in front of your family and you won't do it in front of me will you? If you do then i will be treated as an equal almost like your family then i'll know my place and position in your life.

Know why i agreed on helping with your maths quiz? well we talked a bit about this before but not very deep and clear. I wanted to be of good use to you when i can, i don't want to reject you. I wanted to show how good i am and i wanted you to find me when you need help. If i reject you, then there will be one less chance for me to be a part of your life... To others it might sounds like you are using me or something not good, but i am willing to do it and it just shows how stupid i am when it comes to you and it's all you. I just wanted to be your everything when i can and i CAN...

When i went out with friends and i decided to tell you what i an doing or what we talked about or when we talked about you, i paused. Because it doesn't seems that you bother to know every parts of my life. Maybe you are thinking you should leave some spaces to me( in which you leave me a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of space, too much but oh well), or maybe you are really not interested with my life, or maybe you just don't care. oh whatever these are my thoughts i have no idea of what are you thinking.

You are afraid of facing the crying me. I am kinda sad with it actually. I am sad. I cried because of you. I am worried I am afraid I fear for you and I miss you and I love you...

I'll be carrying a thick eye bags tomorrow definitely. Because i was shredding my tears for the entire passage. Imagine me with tears... That would be funny...

My thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my affections... It all revolves around you... These are how much i love you. I am just a stupid girl when i truly love a person. And once i am hurt i'll shut my heart tight for some long times...

I sound stupid but It's okay...

I hate it when i hate you because i love you when i hate you...