One joke. But It's not the same joke to everyone.

Red Joke

when i saw that fact from my friend, i feel like sharing it to my baby.
Well of course it was entirely a joke to me, trying to turn it into a loving joke.

But, it wasn't, for him.

As if i touched wood, i was going to say sorry if he really dislike it.
But then something even more heartbreaking came out from him.

... "save it for someone who deserve it more !" ...

Even without thinking thoroughly about the intention behind the sentence, the words itself pierced directly through my heart.

Maybe if i take it as a joke but.... no way no way.... no matter how many times i look at it... rubbed my eyes... shed my tears away... read through the conversation again and again and again... it's still there... It's true that he just wrote that...

Therefore tears continuously falling along my cheeks onto the table, even while i was resolving with him about that BAD JOKE...

and then all i know was that my heart was doing the thinking, things like, " now then i know i am so unworthy to him ", " after everything i have done he still have that kind of thoughts", "why are you saying that to me, it was actually just a loving joke that i have intended to say". yada yada yada yada...

at least i told him about this. like how that sentence actually meant to me.

Glad you realised it. And i love you still much.